...because home doesn't happen overnight.

Some of you asked about the quote I have displayed in my workspace. The short answer: I just typed it up in polyvore and printed it out. The long answer: keep reading.

scary fun

I didn’t make any resolutions for 2014. Instead, I coined myself a new motto for the year.

Scary is the new fun.

I don’t mean scary as in Freddy Krueger scary or fighting cancer scary or losing a loved one scary or playing with birds scary. (I have an irrational but very real fear of birds. Acknowledgement is the first step.) Nothing dangerous or life-threatening. I’m talking about scary as in out-of-your-comfort-zone scary.

Far too often I choose not to do something simply because I haven’t done it before. Because I’m afraid I’ll be really bad at it. Because I’m afraid others won’t like it. (Or worse, won’t like me.) Because I’m afraid I won’t like it. Because it kinda sounds like a lot of work. Because doing what I’m familiar with and used to is easier.

But lately I feel like that fear is holding me back from potentially experiencing something I will like. Or possibly even love. So what if it takes me doing 100 things to find one thing that is rewarding and fulfilling? So what. I can put 100 things on my “dislike” list then. NBD.

I don’t know what it is about turning 35 but ever since I did (in November) I wanna stop being a wimp. I feel like I’m finally comfortable with all things me (my style, my body, my passions, my parenting, my sense of humor, my beliefs, etc.) and I owe it to myself to get out there and just be me. Fear aside. Can any 35+ peeps relate?

So what exactly is scary to me? (Besides birds.)

Going to Alt for the first time was scary. But I survived and made new friends. Posting more pictures of myself on this here blog is scary. But I’m doing it. Because, personally, I like seeing the faces behind blogs. Monetizing a blog is scary. I need to make money but I want to stay true to myself and my readers and I don’t want to come across as a sell-out. Coding is scary. I do a lot of copying and pasting and pretending. Showing all the parts of my house that still need TLC is scary. We have lived here for a while now. Shouldn’t we be about done? Responding or not responding to negative comments is scary. Ahhh, what to do?! Sharing non-home-related posts about, oh I don’t know, MY FEARS, my hair, my clothes, my experiences as a mom, my beauty routine is scary. None of that really falls under tweaking a house but maybe someone would find it inspiring? Asking homeowners in real life if I can feature their home for a tour on H*T is scary. What if they think I’m a crazy lady and flat out say no?

And then there are the fears outside of blogging. Meeting new people is scary. I write good, talk bad. Traveling to a new place is scary. But I always end up seeing or learning something new. Being a parent is scary. But my kids seem to be okay. Wearing a bikini is scary. But I refuse to wear a mom suit. Finding the beginnings of a Stacy London gray streak in my hair is scary. But I really don’t want to start dyeing my hair. Realizing I haven’t showered for 3+ days is scary. But it has happened. Not using my college degree is scary. Selling a house is scary. Buying a house is scary. Renovating said house is even scarier. Admitting my shortcomings is scary. Thinking about the future is scary. Trying out new ideas is scary. Standing up for myself is scary. Standing up for others is scary. I won’t even mention public speaking. Grocery shopping with three kids is terrifying. Just ask the guy behind me at checkout who overheard my five-year-old loudly whisper, “Look, Mom! That guy is buying junk! He is making bad choices!”

I think you get it. We all do. We all have something we aren’t doing because we’re afraid it might not work out the way we want it to. We’re afraid of failure, humility, judgment. For one person, it might be exercising or making a lifestyle change. For another, it might be painting a room. For yet another, it might be learning a new trade. It could be anything.

But what if we look at those things in a different way? What if we think of them as fun? I mean, we are getting to experience something new. Isn’t that what life is all about? Experiences? What if we don’t worry about the outcome and instead focus on the fact that we are doing something we’ve never done before? We are living.

SCARY is the new FUN.

Try it. You might like it.

image: Dana Miller for House*Tweaking

It’s been nearly three years since we sold our previous home, The Underdog. We bought it as a dilapidated estate sale in 2011 in an effort to downsize and simplify – physically and financially. We spent the next six years renovating it and making it into a home for our family. We believed then, and still believe now, that it was the perfect house for us at that stage in our life. It was a time of tremendous personal growth in many ways, and we learned a lot. From home improvement subjects like vaulted ceilings, metal roofing, IKEA kitchens and leaky furnaces to more abstract ideas like living with less and valuing experiences over things, the Underdog taught us so much and we’re forever grateful.

I thought it might be interesting to address some of the more frequently asked questions we’ve received since selling and moving.

the black house

What made you decide to move?

There isn’t really one singular thing that coaxed us into moving. It was more like the stars aligned and things kinda fell into place in a serendipitous way. We were putting the finishing touches on the The Pee House but hadn’t listed it yet. I was researching Realtor and Zillow to come up with an accurate fair market price for our flip when I happened upon a property that caught my eye. It wasn’t that the house was beautiful or anything like that, but I was struck by the setting and location. It was a secluded, wooded acre on a cul-de-sac close to all the places we visit on a weekly basis – the kids’ schools, public library, grocery store, favorite local restaurants, parks, swim club, work, etc. I had no idea a lot like it even existed in our area!

I showed the listing to Steve and suggested we “just look at it”, no strings attached. He was reluctant and rightfully so. Here we were with two houses already, neither one of them even on the market yet. We had spent whatever free time there was over the last several months working on the flip and were looking forward to a break. I believe Steve’s exact words were “I need you to stop.” I’m a persistent little bugger though (sorry!) and eventually he agreed to see the wooded property. We viewed it the next evening with our realtor. We were both pretty quiet during the walk-through. I was less impressed with the house (brown, outdated, weird layout, larger than we needed) but couldn’t get over the lot and location. I couldn’t get a good read on Steve. We got in the car to leave and I thought, “Okay, I saw it, now I can get it out of my head.” Sometimes I just need to see a place in person, then I can let it go. Sort of like adding items to an online shopping cart then never actually purchasing them :)

But then Steve said, “So, what did you think?!” I knew right then and there he was game. We slept on it overnight but made an offer the next morning. We were told there were multiple offers, so we didn’t let our hopes get too high. If we got it, great. If we didn’t, we already had two perfectly fine houses, ha! Our realtor called us that evening after the kids were in bed to let us know our offer had been accepted. We just looked at each other like, “Guess we’re buying another house!”

Turns out, the owners’ need to push closing out a few months was what motivated them to accept our offer. They needed time to prepare for a move to an assisted living facility. We were flexible seeing as how we needed time to unload two houses. An extended “under contract” period was perfect for both parties.

The next day we hastily listed the home we were living in as a “Make Me Move” on Zillow. We hadn’t prepped the house for sale; we hadn’t researched the fair market value. I quickly wrote up a description and uploaded photos that I had taken for the purposes of blogging. That was our listing. We didn’t even stick a “for sale” sign in the front yard. An hour after the listing posted, we had a call from a woman asking if she could come see the house that day. We thought, “Why not?”

She came, she saw and she was verrrrry interested. She told us she was newly divorced and her current home was already pending and scheduled to sell in a few weeks. She was under contract on another house, but the inspection had not gone well. She was still within the time frame allowed to walk away without penalty and was frantically looking for a Plan B. She thought our home was perfect. Her realtor contacted us the following day with an official offer. Steve and I had discussed a price we would be willing to accept and the offer was well above it. We felt we’d be silly not to accept it even though we hadn’t really processed everything that was happening. Within a matter of days, we were suddenly buying a new home and selling our current home. It was dizzying and a bit scary but also exciting! The way things were quickly falling into place, it felt meant to be.

The only hiccup we encountered was the timing of closings. Our buyer was anxious to get in ASAP; the sellers of the home we were buying needed more time. As much as we didn’t want to, we figured we could shack up in the flip house for a few weeks if necessary. (But who wants to move twice within a matter of weeks?!) Luckily, our buyer ultimately agreed to push back closing.

In the meantime, we finished up the Pee House, listed it for sale and accepted an offer. We had three closings on three different houses (selling two, buying one) scheduled within four weeks of each other. Not to mention, we were gradually packing up our belongings to move our family. Steve and I were working full-time day jobs, too. Ahhhhhh! It was insanity. We closed on the wooded property first which meant, for a short period of time, we owned three houses. We used that time to sporadically move our belongings to the new house. After work in the evenings and on weekends, we’d pack up the minivan and drop off items at the new house. Steve scored two hours with legit movers for a steal on Groupon, and we utilized them for larger items like furniture, mattresses and the washer & dryer on the actual moving day (although, in reality, we moved over two weeks). Two days later we closed on The Underdog, and two weeks after that we closed on the Pee House. It was a whirlwind, but it all worked out in the end.

What items, if any, were included in the sale of the your previous house?

Along with all the normal fixtures included in a property sale, we left a few extras. The TV & boob speakers (good riddance!) in the living room, all window treatments, the master bedroom sconces and the fauxdenza & wardrobes in the mudroom / dining area all conveyed. The buyer also requested to purchase several items separately from the sale of the house: living room sisal rug, media cabinet, counter stools, desk stool, bunk beds, shoe cabinet and trampoline. We were more than happy to leave those items with the house – less stuff to move!

Fun fact: We have a set of garage cabinets that have made every move with us over the last 10 years. They’re old chemistry lab wall cabinets that Steve found on Craigslist. He loves them, won’t let them go. So we’ve always been sure to note that they do NOT convey in our house listings.

Do you miss your old house?

With all the work, sweat and tears that went into the Underdog, we fully expected to grieve and miss it. Surprisingly, that didn’t happen. We quickly fell in love with our new place and were super happy to see our old house go to someone so excited about it. That definitely made the transition easier.

There are things we miss though. I miss having a newer refrigerator with a water dispenser. Our current home didn’t come with a refrigerator, so we bought an inexpensive, used one from a local scratch-and-dent appliance store as a placeholder until we renovate the kitchen. It’s an older model with no water dispenser and minimal interior organization. (We use a Brita filter pitcher and have to refill it 3-4 times daily. It’s such a pain.) The door doesn’t shut properly and, just last week, the door handle fell off.

I miss bathrooms with windows. I miss natural light in bathrooms and being able to crack a window after a shower or bath. I miss the two small raised garden beds where we grew veggies, herbs and cutting flowers. The kids miss the trampoline.

But these are all just things that can be replicated to some extent at our current place in good time. We don’t regret moving. In fact, at least once a week, one of us says, “I love it here.” So, nope, absolutely no regrets. It was the right move.